tourette's after tics 2

Tourette's After Tics

Bachelor thesis by Zoë Sileghem, 2021

LUCA School of Arts

I grew up with Tourette's syndrome, a neurological predisposition disorder characterized by uncontrollable motor and vocal tics.

Since high school, my tics have mostly disappeared but the syndrome is still very present, expressing itself in a form of agitation. I visualized this specific feeling through an animation using my own face as a canvas

This is an artistic interpretation of my own experiences. It is not an accurat representation of what Tourette’s feels like.

Made by Zoë Sileghem

2021

using Adobe After Effects

and Maxon Cinema 4D

What initially seemed like a personal project soon seemed to have a greater impact. I want to make the invisible visible, because maybe it will get more recognition that way. Tourette's without tics does exist, there is no longer any doubt about that.

Tourette's is a genetic, hereditary and neurological disorder characterised by uncontrollable motor and vocal tics.

You can compare it to an insatiable itch in a place you just can't reach. This best describes my personal experience.

My tics were mainly motoric. I would snap my head back, clap my hands, make strange noises and scratch myself to the point of bleeding. Uncontrollably, because that is what Tourette's syndrome does to you.

As I grew older, the tics became more discreet and more introverted. I learned to speak fluently backwards as a result of a tic whereby I compulsively turned over in my mind every word I heard.

It was all less noticeable and towards the end of secondary school I seemed to be completely free of Tourette's. But I still felt the syndrome was clearly present. It expressed itself in a form of restlessness, tension, pressure. Usually in periods.

Since I started living on my own this year, away from the safe haven of home and being overloaded with the responsibilities of independent living, I have been feeling this inner turmoil more than ever. Maybe it is tourette's without the tics.

And so I wondered. Am I the only one who suffers from Tourette's after tics?

I asked the question in a facebook group of Touretters and unexpectedly received many similar stories.

Tourette's without tics is often seen as a taboo subject within the tourette community, because the tics are of course the biggest aspect of the syndrome.

Initially, I wanted to market my project in the form of an AR experience. I have come to the conclusion that my project is best presented in the form of a video. I thought the idea of the filter was interesting but ultimately not strong enough. As my story is very personal, it seemed to me the strongest choice to convey it on my own face.

For the audio I worked together with my dad, who is a musician and also has Tourette's, to translate the feelings I have into sound.

We did this using various self-recorded samples.

I was looking for sounds that give stress, and that represent the same restlessness and tension I was talking about earlier. I immediately thought of a metronome speeding up, shrill guitar sounds and I also put in a sample of an aeroplane taking off because I liked the way it built up tension. In the background, there is also a constant synthesiser, which for me represents the pressure in my head.

The visuals are made with Maxon's Cinema 4D and a video projector.